This afternoon started out pretty well, but has finished itself as a bad brain evening. Currently, I'm blessed with the inability to speak and really the inability to type well. No, really. If you were here, you'd know that it's taking me a comically long time to type this post due to lack of limb function and brain-finger thought connection.
Days like this are frustrating because I don't feel like myself. Usually, I'm a very loud, outspoken person with quite the sarcastic wit but tonight I've been rendered mute and partially immobile. Would I love to be hanging out with friends? Of course! But when you can't talk and are pretty much a blob on the couch you're not all that fun.
Right now, I'm not sure what to do. Do I live my life anyway, knowing that I'm always going to be knocked on my butt and sent a hundred steps back on a regular basis? Do I accept that for the foreseeable future, there's no cure for this disease and admit defeat? I feel about as important as the flea on the dog between the rock and the hard place. Lately I've been waiting for some sort of big change to happen in my life and it keeps not happening. The main problem is that I'm waiting and not doing anything about it. Sitting on the couch being miserable doesn't get you anywhere in the long run. There are events in the future that have been scheduled that will help me move in the right direction, but right now they seem so far away.
Maybe what I really just have is Three Stooges Syndrome...the chiari is acting up so allergies don't have to. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment